Content

It has been quite a while since I wrote here.

No excuses, I was emotionally in a space where I don’t think that anything I had to say would have been easy for me to share publicly.

I am writing after a long hiatus today because I genuinely cannot help but feel content.

A few posts ago I spoke about my efforts to accept myself in totality. I have understood that perhaps one of the biggest steps towards self realization includes the ability to accept ourselves. All our desires, traits, hopes, wishes..no matter how dark…no matter how untapped….they deserve recognition.

If I accept my behaviors, feelings and attitudes without feeling the need to alter them based on external associations, I don’t feel persecuted, judged or demoralized for not living up to a perceived sense of self. I feel comfortable in my own skin, because I now not only know what my own skin is but I also appreciate what it feels like.

I can’t help but wonder if  this is what true happiness comprises of? Accepting ourselves at our raw most self. I have a long way to go before I can accept everything and everyone that I truly am. For now I feel content knowing that perhaps this settling feeling is the first step not only towards self realization but (maybe) also happiness.

*I realize that I may be making grave grammatical errors in my writing, pardon me! If you notice any grammatical errors or have any suggestions, feel free to add a comment. Happy Reading.

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Shout, from my first and only Black Arts Movement class

I had the good fortune of being able to attend a diverse Black Arts Movement Class in college. Where in the beginning I felt out of place and out of sync, as we read about the struggles and triumphs of the black people in America, it became clear to me that their struggle was similar in some ways  to the Indian people’s struggle against the British Raj. After creating presentation on Huey Newton and the Black Panthers, I was moved to pen this poem on the feelings of a black man talking about his struggle and thoughts against his white slave master.

I named it ‘Shout’  here goes..

My color is unique, found in the Australian swan.

Yet with a million of my brothers,

In this land I stand denounced.

I was taken from a village,

While I sang my country song,

Teaching my young offspring,

Just how to get along.

Now I stand here naked,

Stripped of everything I had,

In white man’s clothing,

All my cries go unheard.

The rings around my ankles, I broke long ago,

But the shackles that bind my heart,

Strangle me every day.

Who am I? Where do I belong?

They let me eat their grains,

But don’t let me be the farmer.

When I talk about my land, my culture

My brethren, my blood

They turn a deaf ear, pretend it was never heard.

I want my children and theirs there forth,

To know the value of their skin and hair,

It’s not a special aisle in the store,

Nor a broken fence in the neighborhood,

It’s not only special one month in a year,

Nor is it a box in a plea to be accepted.

The color of my skin, the power of my being

The remnants of my glorious culture,

Surge through my veins, like venom through a snake.

It inspires me, incites me, pushes me

Throws me, it angers me.

My brothers have laid their lives and I seek revenge,

But I will not shed blood.

Because I do not seek blood,

I seek a revolution, I want a revolution.

A change of hearts, a change of minds,

A change in the winds that give me the jitters.

Give me a part on your stage, a verse in your song

A color on your easel or a page in your book,

And watch my revenge unfold.

Like the grains in a granary, united we should stand

Hold them at their words, their actions

Their promises, their demands.

Let the perpetrators know, that

Treachery might break our bones

But pride will nurse our spirits back to life.

And though the color of darkness, on our skins might shine

When we wring your hearts

Instead of blood, they’ll bleed dirt and grime.

So hold my hand as I chant this rhyme,

Awaken your heart, awaken your mind

Awaken what you thought was lost

Your innermost, awaken your deepest divine.