It has been quite a while since I wrote here.

No excuses, I was emotionally in a space where I don’t think that anything I had to say would have been easy for me to share publicly.

I am writing after a long hiatus today because I genuinely cannot help but feel content.

A few posts ago I spoke about my efforts to accept myself in totality. I have understood that perhaps one of the biggest steps towards self realization includes the ability to accept ourselves. All our desires, traits, hopes, matter how dark…no matter how untapped….they deserve recognition.

If I accept my behaviors, feelings and attitudes without feeling the need to alter them based on external associations, I don’t feel persecuted, judged or demoralized for not living up to a perceived sense of self. I feel comfortable in my own skin, because I now not only know what my own skin is but I also appreciate what it feels like.

I can’t help but wonder if  this is what true happiness comprises of? Accepting ourselves at our raw most self. I have a long way to go before I can accept everything and everyone that I truly am. For now I feel content knowing that perhaps this settling feeling is the first step not only towards self realization but (maybe) also happiness.

*I realize that I may be making grave grammatical errors in my writing, pardon me! If you notice any grammatical errors or have any suggestions, feel free to add a comment. Happy Reading.


Walking around in circles

It could be,  that in the race to find ourselves, to find happiness,  we may realize that we’re walking around in circles.

I don’t think that there is a right way or a wrong way, no good place or bad place,  to look in for metaphysical answers.

Having said that, it could be so that we’re limiting our answers by the rigidity of our thoughts.

We want to find the ‘us’ we think we ‘ought to be’. We want to find the happiness, we think we deserve. I face this dilemma everyday.

It’s more difficult than we believe, to let ourselves completely go, and understand what gives us joy, what feels secure.

Dancing gives me joy, traveling and fashion give me joy but I have never considered making a living out of these joys.

I have never thought about doing something in these realms for the rest of my waking moments.


Why is it that when I am at my most peaceful, I never think about pursuing that source for the rest of my life?

We are so set in our ways regarding what we ‘ought to be’, how we ‘ought to think’ that we end up doing making all the choices that have nothing to do with what really gives us happiness.

No doubt things change, we change, our sources of happiness may similarly change.

But would it be all that bad if we tapped into what truly gave us joy, gave us a sense of identity and a sense of freedom and pursued that source, thereon?

I am going to give this a try. I am going to lose all inhibitions and truly go for what makes me peaceful and happy.

I wonder what the results will be, but I am happy knowing that at least I will be making the choices that give me most satisfaction at that time.